Blue Submarine

It feels like the outside world gets further and further away

while you bury yourself deep inside your shell.

The noises get dull and the colours and shapes blurry.

As if you were under water,

in a blue submarine,

 drifting away from everything.

You feel like shutting down

while the others talk to you and smile

and ask things and you just nod or shake your head

and you wish

you wish so hard 

they'd go away

and let you be

and let you bury yourself in your shell.

And let you sink.

Passing By

When there is more behind you

than ahead of you

you start wondering.

His Choice

Lust isn't part of his life

as he chose the other way.

He chose to be "normal"

and to satisfy whomever wouldn't like the truth. 

There he is standing in front of us

talking and moving smoothly

like a pink little butterfly smelling on a blooming flower.

But he's got this strong voice

and men clothes on 

and pictures of his wife on his desk. 

His wife who gave him the child

he loves so much. 

His wife, 

who is a woman.

I wonder if she knows

he dreams of men.

Smile

This smile in your face

is so painful.

Your lips

they are heavy

so heavy.

Don't

And you worry so much

and they say you don't.

And you care so much

and they say you don't.

And you just give up
trying to convince them.
And you just keep on 
worrying and 
caring
alone.

Happy

Your heart is burning in pain

nobody sees it

as your perfect smile is covering it.

Your body hurts from the slaps life gave you

but nobody sees it

as your well-chosen outfit  is so flashy.

Your dying from the inside

nobody sees it

as you are perfect in looking so happy.

Nothing

And you run

and run

and run

and it's not enough.

It never is enough.

You're never good enough

smart enough

nice enough.

And you,

stupid little thing,

keep on running

for nothing.

Please

Bury me

please bury me.

The sunshine hurts.

I can't stand the birds

chirping in my ears anymore.

My blood is frozen

my heart has died

for the pain was too much.

All colours got black

I don't see the light anymore.

Bury me

please bury me

make it stop.

Mafalda

Her hips shake in the pace of her heartbeat,

which you can actually hear,

as her heart is huge.

 

She manages somehow to look evil,

with the black hair and the devil on her fingers,

but when you come close

she embraces you

and her smile makes metal melt

into sweet honey.

 

She knows about sweetness

and she knows about gentleness.

But don't you dare step on her foot.

She'll rip it off.

Choir Boy

When he speaks

it sounds like he is singing.

His melodic accent makes everything he says

sound so much nicer than it actually is.

His friendly eyes have the same green

as the hills of his hometown

and his lips

even on serious days

carry a slight smile in the corners.

He knows evil exists in this world,

but he has never understood it.

He might be

the one

good

pure

soul

on this planet. 

Cycle

I used to be the youngest generation. 

Now I'm moving up the ladder.

It feels weird.

Living Death

Do you have children?
Yes. I got two daughters.
(She won't speak about her son.)

What do they do?
One lives abroad, in London. The other one, Beth, works in a library.
(She won't tell you, that her son was an engineer)

You say nice and sip on your coffee.

She sits there feeling the pressure on her chest.
Remembering the day her life stopped.
Remembering the day the phone rang.
Remembering the day her daughter came home and said
the worst had happened.

The worst a mother can go through.
Burying a child.
And she'll never know why.
Never know the reason
why he decided that
being dead
would be better
than being alive.

Heat

It's a special kind of heat

boiling and boiling inside me

pressuring blood

through every vein of my body

making my heart bump so strong

that every cell starts shaking in fear

of what will happen next. 

And when darkness is finally gone

I only see blood.

Public Domain

It's my belly. 

It's not Public Domain.