Boy's Stuff

Eric was very little when he started feeling strange. He looked at the girls with a strong interest. Their toys attracted him. His best friends were girls: Amanda and Lilly.In Kindergarden he preferred playing with dolls, but the teachers wouldn't let him.  They said it was wrong. But the dolls were so pretty! Why wouldn't they let him play? 

Go get a ball! Or a car! 

Eric was confused. He didn't understand what was wrong with him. Why didn't he like all the toys and games the other boys liked? Why couldn't he play with the dolls? The girls were allowed to get the cars to play...

He became ashamed and went mute. His Dad put him in Football classes, so he would make new friends. They made fun of him. He came home crying twice a week. Eric's Mom tried to comfort him with chocolate and sweets. He became chubby and stopped going to his Football trainings. Years passed and he was very lonely. His Mom had given up to understand him. 

When he was 12 he suddenly made a best friend called Tom, a neighbour. They spent hours and hours  playing Playstation and sometimes even Football. They went to eat ice cream and to watch movies. Eric's parents were relieved. He was a normal boy after all, going out with a friend to do boy's stuff. 

How could they know? They had no idea. 

They'd never understand.

My place

There is a place

which is mine

where I rule

I am the Queen

and I do what I want.

It's the only real democratic space

where things can be said

pictures can be shown

supposedly fearlessly.

What I write is not about you

or me

or him

or her

or whoever.

It's about nobody

and everybody

it's about feelings

experiences

impressions.

If I would worry about what people think

I wouldn't write.

This post is to tell you

who doesn't like what I write:

Stay the hell out of my blog.

Go censor your cat. 

Purple Blazer

So he had one month to live!

What about all his plans?

And everything he wanted to do?

He ran.

He hurried to meet those he loved, but hadn’t had the time to see.

Ex-girlfriends. Women he had hurt. His family...

He cried and asked for forgiveness.

He spent days writing letters.

His will. 

He bought a Mercedes, knowing he would never finish to pay for it.

He bought all those clothes he found cool and never had the courage to wear. A purple blazer and tweed trousers. A hat like Michael Jackson! He loved it and didn’t care about the people looking at him on the street. Fuck them, he thought. I am the one who is dying!

He called his college friends and organised a party.

He smoked weed and tried cocaine. 

Everyone went there drowning in nostalgia.

He was such a good man. They would miss him a lot.

They would spend every minute with him, to ease his pain. 

Ease his last moments. 

He felt important and self-pity became his best friend.

Why him? What had he done to die so early? 

Not even 30 years he had gotten...and now it would be over. So many things he’d like to do still. Have a rock band! Parachuting! Set up a café like the one he had loved in Australia. Get his girlfriend back. Learn how to cook...this endless list of things was useless.

Now he had less than 10 days.

9

8

7

6

5

4

3

2

1

.

.

.

.

It had been a mistake. Wrong exams. Wrong blood test. The Lab had totally screwed it. They paid him damage compensation. He managed to pay the Mercedes. His boss called, he went back to the office. He worked a lot, while his ex-girlfriend got married. The cooking course was on Saturdays and he prefered to sleep. The Parachuting was too far away. He had learned a café wouldn’t bring enough profit. Ordering Pizza was easier than learning how to cook. And the purple blazer? Buried deep inside his closet.

Bleed

You see tears
when a soul bleeds
after a bad injury.

Werewolf

You are so beautiful

your green eyes sparkle gently

looking at me with so much love.

You are so sweet

your voice is comforting

speaking of peace and happiness.

Everything would be perfect

if you weren't a werewolf.

If you weren't dangerous.

If you wouldn't lose control.

If you didn't have this huge paws

and sharp teeth

and this lust to kill

and tear me in pieces

and eat my heart 

and lick my blood 

and see me dead.

Go back!

Please go back to your dark cave.

Hide!

If you love me

leave

me

alive.

Washing Machine

She jumped into a washing machine

and spent months in the spin cycle

shaking and spinning

upside down

downside up.

Now, she's clean

the spinning has stopped.

But she'll be dizzy 

for a long time.

Listen

Why don’t we listen to the silence?

Table tennis

Stop playing ping-pong with my heart.

We are

We are all guilty.

From underneath

On the top of the mountain

he stood looking down

ruling his kingdom with 

passionate but iron hand.

Confidence was his second name

and he’d never expected

the people to rebel.

When they did, 

this little King fell

such a deep fall

he spent days in the air.

And when he finally hit the ground

the ground was harder than expected.

There he was, the little confident King

crawling on the ground 

amidst his people for the first time seeing things

from underneath. 

And everything looked so different!