I told you

I cling to it

like someone who's falling down an abysm

and hangs on this one branch of an old bush

that's gonna break anytime.

And you know

it's not gonna hold

but you hope

what if it's strong enough?

I make excuses

and explain, 

understand, 

forgive, 

forget, 

overlook.

I grab it, as if there were nothing else.

As if THIS were the only thing ever

and without it 

my life would be definitely over.

I put all my heart in it.

I would have died for it.

I would have followed it

wherever

whenever

whatever.

It has died.

It hurts too much.

It burns me from the inside.

And the worst is

I really

deeply

believed in it.

And once again

life hits me in the face,

laughs at me

and, grinning,

says:

I told you, stupid!