The day a bloody Ibis stole my sandwich

Down under you got all the crazy animals that were expelled from the “real” world. It’s like a sanctuary for those animals, that weren’t allowed to stay in any other place. I’m sure about that, because no other place on earth has animals like Australia does. If you’re not an Ozzie, you’ll never get used to it. 

I found myself down under admiring the flora and fauna and hoping to survive it. I mean, it seems like, besides having crazy animals, they also have the most dangerous animals ever! Spiders, snakes, sharks etc...neverending danger surrounding you. Even in the cities, it’s full of animals. The ones that are not dangerous or weird-looking are just annoying. 

Sooo bloody annoying. Like the Ibis. 

The big buckled-beaked bird loves to be next to Japanese people. They get so excited about it and assiduously take pictures with their huge Nikons. AND they feed the Ibis. As if they had to! Haha...they don’t know the Ibis!  In parks usually people take a snack with them, like sandwiches (with avocado) or cookies (Tim Tams!) and sit on the lawn to enjoy the sun (few of them know about the skin cancer thing). 

It was a lovely, sunny Ozzie afternoon and I was sitting on a bench enjoying the day, watching Asian tourists getting excited about everything. Whenever I travel and I see Asians, I immediately stop feeling like a tourist. Next to them, it’s impossible to be a Tourist. They’re just too professional. 

Anyways, enjoying the scenery I was distracted by the size of the Nikons all around me. 

I didn’t see it coming. 

I wasn’t prepared. 

I didn’t expect it and I didn’t like it: a huge Ibis came down on me, with it’s buckled beak and it’s huge feet, hanging in the air over me stealing my sandwich: I was holding it in my hands! The thing just came down and snapped my sandwich. Unbelievable! 

You know, when you’re living with 10 people in a rented house thousands of miles from your home, you don’t have money and work hard, a sandwich becomes a really important thing!  

Indignantly I realised: The bird was ment to steal things! The beak has the perfect shape to fly over you and steal things! Whoever has invented this thing, was really smart. At least this time, I escaped from the pee. Yes, the pee. This awful, giant, criminal bird likes to grab your food AND pee on the table afterwards...Well. I walked home, hungry, listening to the crowes, which are the second most annoying birds down under.