Wonder Why

The day you stop wondering why

you'll feel death

holding your neck tight

and saying: Ready, then?

She collects people who

stop wondering why.

She wishes

There is this lovely little girl

blond like an angel with huge blue eyes

so pretty, everybody fulfills her wishes.

And she wishes a lot.

She's the centre of the universe and

she is so sweet you must love her,

you just can't help it.

She builds this huge castle made of sand,

warm, shiny sand on a beautiful beach.

She builds up high walls and

pretends to be the Queen of the castle.

And she is worshipped 

and loved 

and people obey her. 

But time passes and as she grows up

she starts understanding

she's not the centre of the universe.

Some people don't love her.

The sand castle crumbles.

She sees people turning their backs

when she demands attention and obedience.

How? How could this happen?

Wasn't she the Queen?

There she is, this lovely woman

blond like an angel with huge blue eyes

so pretty and nobody cares.

And she wishes a lot.

Narcissus

I am the Narcissus

I've got the right to grow wherever I want.

I've got my own opinions and don't worry 

if you don't like them.

I am so beautiful, 

look at me!

White and yellow, sparkling in the sunlight, 

smelling of freshness and health.

Bees and butterflies can't get enough of me because 

I'm so delicious.

I demand 

you to water me and take care with my leaves.

I don't have deep roots, so don't pull on me.

Let me grow stronger and admire me

smell on me

and take pictures.

But don't touch me, because I don't like it.

Don't question me, because I have no reasons.

Don't tell me I'll be dead soon.

Don't mention my blossoms will wilt

and other plants will grow

and nobody will remember my beauty.

Just admire me, because

I am the Narcissus.

And still

You've got a meeting

with the devil.

You know it's gonna hurt

you're soul is gonna burn

you're gonna feel miserable for a while

and the scars will remain.

You'll be stepping deep

it's gonna feel like a free fall.

You could choose not to meet him.

But you're curious

and you want to show him how strong you are

and how good you manage everything.

And it's gonna be almost unbearably painful

but you'll be smiling sweetly

and pretending

you're feeling so great,

trying so hard to show him 

that he can't do anything to wound you.

You're gonna leave this meeting

with your feet burning

and you're stone heart crumbling to sand

and your eyes bleeding, 

'cause the tears have gone long time ago

and with this fake frozen smile on your face.

You'll be licking your fresh wounds for so long...

and still

you want to meet the devil. 

.

Tanks

It is war, but it isn't!

Everyone inside these tanks

but they aren't tanks.

They are black or white or red

and the ones inside feel like

they got to fight for territory

and threaten the weaker ones,

who are walking around,

getting in the way of the stronger ones.

People get hurt

and die

and nothing changes.

They drive over the white butterflies

of vanished souls

and honk to get there faster?

Get faster where?

Vocal Chords

When people shout

they are wrong.

That's just it.

Peace

When you get close to the three

you grow confidence enough

to treat well your doubts.

When you get close to the three

you really comprehend

that you know nothing

and certainties are tricky.

That's when you make peace with your doubts

that you used to hate so much.

You start treating them as best friends.

They are with you wherever you go

constantly reminding you of

choices you can make

and ways you can take.

Don't send them away.

Sun Spot

I like the sound 

of raindrops on my window and 

the way my curtains dance at night when they meet the wind.

I like to see 

the shade of leaves on the pavement

and the way ants walk in a queue carrying parts of nature on their tiny backs.

I like to play 

with the serviettes while waiting for my lunch

and form them in the shape of butterflies.

I like to smile 

at strangers and wait for them to smile back

while they wonder why I am smiling.

I like to smell 

the food before I taste it and

organise it for the best to be my last bite.

I like to walk 

barefoot on a lawn and feel the blade of grass

prick my feet and tickle my toes.

I like the smell 

of fresh coffee and new books

as if my ideas could dance on the milk foam 

and jump on the pages.

I like the warmth

of the sun spot on my desk and to sleep

hugging a huge pillow .

Feeding Bowl

Or: The day she ate parts of her leg

There is this ruin. The rotten rest of a green wooden house on a lot covered by plants and trees and bushes. You hardly see it. In the back of the rotten ruin is another little house made of stone. A small stone path leads to this house and sometimes you see some clothes hanging on a clothesline. You can see this through the front gate, a green steel gate with strong bars. There is also a dog, a medium-sized, white mongrel with brown spots called Mancha. It’s a nice female dog that causes the other dogs on the street despair when in heat. She’s always sitting on the gate bars looking at the street.

Mancha was getting skinnier every day. Neighbours wondered if she had been put on a diet. One day she escaped. She was in heat once more and so skinny she had managed to pass through the bars of the front gate.  The street is very short and people know each other. They tried to protect Mancha from the other street dogs that attacked her. She looked awful, scared, shaking in distress and so skinny you saw each and every bone of her skeleton. A neighbour finally caught her. The green steel gate was locked. They called some more neighbours to open the gate and enter the house. Rogerio saw it first. He entered the kitchen and saw blood on the floor. The smell of blood, mould, pee and dirt was gross. Then he saw the leg. Flesh. Was she dead? Had this old lady, who lived there, died without anyone noticing it? He came closer. She was lying on the floor. Her right leg was cut open and the flesh wasn’t even red anymore. 

She was breathing! 

Mumbling things. Help! Neighbours carrying her. Water! Ambulance! 

She had fallen and hurt her leg. She called for help but nobody had heard it. She couldn’t feed the dog, that started to lick her blood from the wound. After three days without food the dog had bit a part of her leg. Eaten it. Which probably saved her from the grubs. She thought at least the dog would survive eating her corpse. 

For a long time the old lady didn’t show up. She was in hospital and rumors told she would live with some relatives far away.

After 7 months the clothingline was there again. Mancha sitting on the green steel gate, bulky from tons of food in her feeding bowl, but now the neighbours had a key to the gate. 

Spring Blossom

There is something wrong with my time feeling

it's like my biological clock never accepted the fact 

that I live on the Southern hemisphere.

It's March. 

My body tells me, it should be spring.

It waits for the flowers to blossom and

the sun to come back

while it gets warmer every day.

It should be the beginning of light

not the end.

It's autumn! How can it be autumn now?

Easter bunnies, chocolate, flowers, people waiting for the summer...

But it's all the opposite! 

It feels so wrong every year. 

Europeans

What we have in common?

Our bloody past.

The day I decided not to eat Pizza anymore

No matter how long I live here, there are just some things I'll never understand. Have you ever tried to eat out in a Pizzeria with Brazilians ? There are so many steps to follow (not to mention the existent flavours) ! Unbelievable. 


First, you got to call 7 friends. It seems like you only go for Pizza with at least 8 people. Usually it's weekend and you keep on calling people for at least 1 h. Let's say you start at 8 pm, 'cause dinner here is pretty late. You call friend A and B, who invite friend C and talk to friend D, who calls you back to set where and when you'll meet. Friend F (you don't know who invited F) calls you, saying he'll arrive a little later (which means almost midnight). Alright. You, A,B,C and D bring your girlfriends/boyfriends and meet at place X around 9:30.(Deciding the place was another loooong discussion). F will be there later and asked for you to keep some Pizza for him. 


When you and your friends arrive at the Pizzeria, you need to find a table that suits you all. B's girlfriend is a bitch and doesn't want to sit next to the kitchen. D is allergic to smoke and doesn't want to sit next to the smoking area. C believes air conditionings are evil and prefers to sit far away from them.You are getting hungrier and hungrier and start thinking of McDonald's. 


The waiter politely moves chairs, tables and asks other customers to sit somewhere else, so you  and the bunch of people with you stop annoying everyone. Great! You're sitting and ask for a can of Guaraná, 'cause you're already exhausted. STOP! Stop? But I just ordered my drink...No, come on, let's ask for 2L bottles, it's much cheaper. Ah, alright. They decide to ask for Coke. You hate Coke. It's so sweet it sticks on your teeth for two weeks. But you do not want to offend your Brazilian friends...so you shut up and drink it. 


The menue! Finally you see food, at least pictures of yummy food! Chicken heart Pizza? Strogonoff Pizza? What the hell is that? Ice Cream Pizza. Strawberry, Coconut Pizza...you try to find a HAM Pizza. That sounds great- ham and mushrooms. You're from Germany, so pork is always your first choice. You weren't expecting the following: Everyone is discussing the flavours to order them altogether. It means: you, A and his girlfriend, B and his bitchy girlfriend, C and her friend and D with his girlfriend have to decide ALTOGETHER the flavours. They count one Pizza for 3 people and on each pizza you got 4 flavours, which means you'll spend the next 30 minutes discussing loudly but politely with your friends. And you can't stop looking at that ham and mushroom pizza picture you hold in your hands. You try to include your desire of ham and mushrooms, and the reactions are like: Ham? How boring! Nobody here likes mushrooms. Let's ask for Chicken with mini French fries and Catupiri (weird Brazilian cheese). Yay! Let's ask for Beef Pizza with Eggplant, Calabresa (greasy sausage slices), Chicken heart and the Portuguese Pizza. (Portuguese Pizza is greasy sausage slices, EGG, pepper, lots of onions, and whatever else can be found in the kitchen).  


Alright. You give up. You smile and wait. They order. You drink coke. Loud chatting everywhere. Cross chatting (actually shouting).Your friend sitting next to you is saying something, but you can't hear him. So you smile and nod. You remember there was one flavour they ordered you could actually like: something with barbecue pork slices and onions. After 40 minutes the waiters bring the Pizzas. You desperately try to recognise the Pork one. It's there! You can see the waiter carrying it to the friend who is sitting the furthest from you. In front of you: Chicken heart and something else you do not recognise. Smile. Breathe. Wait. Loud chatting, people cutting Pizzas and serving each other. You ask for help, could anyone serve you a piece of that Pizza there? After the third time it works: you got your piece. It's already cold the coke in front of you is warm. Everyone is happy but you. What's wrong with you? You're hungry, thirsty, tired and the bill will be 50 bucks. That's when you decide you hate Pizza. 
By the way: Friend F never showed up and you ended up getting the rest of the Pizza you hate to take home. 

More or less

And when he killed your child 
you want him to rot in hell.
And when your child killed
you pray for him and visit him 
and you want the judge to rot in hell
and when you're the judge you know
there's neither hell
nor heaven.
No angels or devils.
They're just people.
Some more human
some less.

Whisky

 

They stink of lasciviousness,

beer and cigarettes.

They're old and got hair on their ears

even the younger ones look like animals.

They come behaving like predators

pretending to be strong and unbeatable.

Smeary smile.

Then they give orders

to bite

lick

ride

blow

and start hackling like happy dogs.

Their faces become red grimaces. 

Disgusting white liquid.

Payment.

We wash our mouths with Whisky and wait. 

Body Parts

I know he didn't ask for it

but I gave him my fingers.

All of them.

When there weren't any left

I gave him the palm of my hands.

And when I didn't have any hands 

I gave him both of my arms.

He didn't ask for it,

but I gave him my shoulders,

I knew he needed them.

And he looked at me

when I gave him my breast

and my stomach

and my back

and my legs.

Both of my knees.

He didn't ask for it, 

but I saw he needed my feet

and each of my toes.

And when I surrendered my heart

he smiled and walked away.

My head aches.

Thoughts

Thoughtless thoughts are no real thoughts. 

The thoughtless thinking of thoughts is senseless. 

Thor II

There is this black guy riding his bike 

on the way home after work.

He isn't very nice to people, so he doesn't have many friends. 

But he is black and poor. A fact that so far was not being discussed. He is in a hurry and crosses the street with his bike, without looking back.He doesn't see the car.

There is this white guy driving his McLaren on the way home after meeting some friends.

Even being a billionaire, he somehow managed to be a really nice person. He gave some friends a lift home and afterwards headed to his own home, which is, of course, the coolest house ever seen in this country. Suddenly he hit something.

Who will be guilty?

Thor

There is this black guy riding his bike 
on the way home after work
in a country were most of the black guys 
don't get really good jobs
and there are no lanes for bikes.


There is this white guy driving his McLaren on the way home after meeting friends
in a country where white, young, men 
get a chance more easily
and don't have to follow all the rules.


They meet in the dark.
Who is stronger?

Pull me

There was someone in a hole

and the hole was getting larger

and I reached out to grab his hand

"Let me help you", I said.

The one just stared at me,

scared, sinking deeper in the hole.

So I climbed to the edge, 

to grab his shoulders and

pull the one out

while the hole was getting larger.

"Let me pull you out", I said.

But the one sank deeper 

and didn't reach out for my hand.

So I stepped closer to the hole

to grab both of his arms and

pull the one out

so he wouldn't die.

"Come with me, or you will die", I said,

while the hole was getting larger.

That's when I fell myself in the hole

that was getting larger.

The one just stared at me,

scared, sinking deeper in the hole,

grabbing me and pulling me closer to death.

Police

So, God is dead?

Who the fuck killed him?

Call the police!

Power

There are many ways of manipulating others. 
But the most powerful tool

is called GUILT. 

Howling

It's dark and 

there is this wolf

howling in the cold looking up

to the bright shining moon

howling and howling

and looking up

and the moon 

doesn't give a shit.
When will this wolf stop howling?

Want me

If it is too hot

I press a button and choose the air-conditioning’s temperature.

If it gets too cold 

I turn on my heating and enjoy the cosy warmth. 

If I’m bored 

I turn on the TV and choose between reality shows, blockbusters or alternative French movies.

If my shoes don’t match my clothes 

I go to the mall and buy new shoes.

If I don’t like my job 

I quit and get another one.

If I don’t like my town 

I move overseas.

If I am sick of my Religion

I start believing in something else.

If I don’t like my relatives 

I stop talking to them.

If I see my boobs are getting saggy

I get a plastic  surgery.

But if you 

don’t want me... 

SaDisfaction

I can't get no

satisfaction.

I don't want no

satisfaction.

My journey is my destiny

once I come to the end

it's done. 

I don't like ends.

It should be spelled SADisfaction.   

It's like cooking,

you buy stuff, select each and every single ingredient

chop, slice, prepare...

Turn the oven on,

have high expectations,

picturing how yummy

the food will be. 

Anticipating pleasure.

Then you garnish the plates

serve the dish

and when you've eaten

you get sad and lazy

and maybe even a stomach ache. 

I don't like ends.

I choose never to be satisfied!

This will be my satisfaction.

Look

Oh, look!

It really is round.

It's law

It’s law.

You must be happy. 

Your obliged to smile

and be pretty

and have fun. 

Have fun!

Fulfill your dreams!

Do things you like. 

Meet your friends!

Break up if your boyfriend doesn’t make you happy.

Buy a new couch if you don’t like the one you got.

Stop talking to people that annoy you. 

Only do cool stuff with cool people.

Have amazing sex!

Go to parties and dance.
Travel, cook, read...

Do whatever makes you happy.

Don't you dare be sad!

It’s law.
You must be happy.